I was planning on blogging about another area of my life that has had a huge impact on me. Then I realised the date and remembered it’s implications for me, and well, that topic will just have to wait.
February 14th, 2012. Valentines day.
Five years since I first came out to anyone as queer.
I was 16 years old, with my first boyfriend. I made an innocuous little comment about how an actress really did not look as attractive as she was plainly meant to be looking, to my mind at least. He responded with ‘and you’d know?’
‘Yes.. I’m bi’.
‘Huh, ok. Why not’ was all he said to that.
I’d be lying if that wasn’t more than slightly disappointing, after being bold enough to tell someone for the first time. He was just far too straight to understand how that at all and to be quite frank, these days I simply don’t care about what he thinks about it.
All that matters now is what that lead to. It meant that when a gay friend put me on the spot and said ‘are you bi?’ I was confident enough to say ‘yeah, actually’. Not only that, but also to deal with the reactions of my friends, who decided that was a great time to discuss and debate bisexuality, many of them claiming it was a trend and attention seeking – with me sat right there. That’s probably the single most unpleasant response I have ever had, but it was a long way short of enough to change my decision to be out.
Since then it’s been a lot more positive. The main thing though has been that I was really only out to people my own age. I was very apprehensive about my parents reaction. Thankfully, everyone I ever told understood that, and I never felt at risk of being outed to them.
For a long time, things continued in this manner. Being queer was just another part of life, and not much else.
Recently, however, that changed dramatically.
I fell for a girl. Doesn’t sound overly surprising at all. Except that during the course of our relationship, she realised she was trans, came out to her parents, and began on the long, hard process of transitioning.
The very first thing I feel I must mention is just how incredibly proud of her I feel. She’s shown such courageousness and resourcefulness in coming to terms with this. It’s truly incredible.
It’s only fair to allow her to explain her experience in her own words, so I’m going to link to her blog: http://freakytransgirl.tumblr.com/
All of this rather pushed the not being out to my parents issue to a head. I decided therefore to take, for me, that rather monumental step, and telling them about me and Lily. I decided the best way was through email, so they could take their time about responding, allowing emotions to cool beforehand. I’m currently waiting on their response, which is thoroughly nerve-wracking.
February is quite an important month to me, I think you can see. The very best part is that it coincides with National LGBT History Month – and my first time of going to pride in two weeks time!
What other month could you possibly conceive having life changing/enriching moments in?